Civil Rights activist Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. shocked the world in the 1960’s with his radical views on a free and equal America for all ethnicities. And he continues to shock the world to this day with his recent resurrection from the dead. On the 15th of April, 2016, King rose from his grave in Atlanta, Georgia, much to the surprise of local passer-by’s, and proceeded to head to Georgia State University.
Meredith Kennedy, 84, passed King as he headed to the University, and commented that he “…stunk like a whorehouse at low tide! Hoo-wee!”
Reports indicate that King spotted Andrew Marks, 22, sporting dreadlocks despite being “not even a little bit black”, and approached him with “cougar-like speed”. King then uttered the words “Sweet dreads, bro”, gave him a high five, and disintegrated into a pile of dust not unlike the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Marks stated afterwards, “I guess he understood that the division of culture is ultimately what is stopping this country from becoming truly great. Isolating those wanting to share, appreciate, and celebrate others’ ways of life in this way is only going to create more discrimination and allow bullying and racism to flourish under the disguise of social justice and cultural appropriation.” Marks then paused and looked pensive, before finishing, “All of that with 3 words. He really is the greatest orator of all time.”