Canada Doesn’t Exist, Admits Trudeau

Canadian ‘Prime Minister’ Justin Trudeau today admitted that the state of Canada doesn’t actually exist, and that he made it up in order to further his modelling career.

International heartthrob Trudeau told mesmerised reporters today that he completely fabricated the idea that the vast expanse of trees and moose above the United States was a nation, all so that he could get his beautiful perfect face seen around the world.

‘Right foot, left foot, right foot, winner’s smile, stop, pose, and turn!’

Suspicions were first aroused that something wasn’t right when many people around the world began to realise that nothing ever seemed the happen in so-called ‘Canada’. The lack of news reports, particularly from a country right next to the constantly newsworthy USA, seemed too good to be true. The British Ambassador to Canada, Samuel Winston-Huffington, told Flipside, ‘I was made to live in a obviously improvised wooden hut in the middle of a forest. No one was around, no one ever visited, except the occasional beaver and travelling gap year student. I never got word of any international incidents or shootings. Something was just off’.

The news of Trudeau’s deception doesn’t seem to have affected his international appeal however. Bethany Wilkinson from Headingley told us, ‘I don’t care, he’s just so damn hot! Trudeau, please have my babies!’. Jacob Matthews, 24, said, ‘I mean, just look at that face! I’d let him lie to me about Canadian legislature all night just to stare at that chiselled jaw’.

With the truth out, Trudeau says he will now focus entirely on his modelling career. ‘It’s a huge load of my mind to admit my lie, but now I can devote my life to showing the world my crazy good looks. I’ve already been booked for a photoshoot with Vogue, and will also appear on Zara’s website modelling their latest range of leather biker jackets and chinos’.

We at Flipside, like most people, don’t care that Canada isn’t actually a country, but we’re glad to hear that Trudeau will continue to spread that damn fine face around the world.


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