Boy with Lisp Asks for ‘Dice’; Accidentally Summons ISIS

Yesterday, a family in Leeds playing ‘Monopoly’ was shocked when 9-year-old Andrew, who has a slight speech impediment, asked for the ‘dice’, and instead summoned the Islamic State.

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Andrew has been put into police custody for inviting the entirety of ISIS into his house, and moreover the UK, but he insists it was an ‘achshident’. Andrew’s links to the Islamic State are still uncertain, but his family confirm that he does have a Muslim friend as school, thus his innocence is disputed.

The arrival of ISIS in Leeds has outraged the community, and many are protesting outside the town hall to ban dice, Monopoly and lisps, to ensure this situation never occurs again. The tag ‘#AndrewBehindBars’ is trending, as many call for the life imprisonment of the loose-tongued Andrew.

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