Labour has revealed that Ken Livingstone actually has a malicious twin brother that looks and sounds alike the former Mayor of London.
Left: Ken Livingstone, not anti-Semitic. Right: Ben Livingstone, evil, callous and anti-Semitic
A Labour spokesperson apologised for Ben Livingstone’s actions today, and any misunderstandings it may have caused. The spokesperson continued to say that the Labour party is ‘Fine. Everything’s fine. The Labour Party is totally OK’.
It is understood that Ben is not affiliated with the Labour party at all, as he has been a hermit since birth, explaining the lack of any record of a ‘Ben Livingstone’ in the public domain. According to the Labour party, Ben was ‘full of envious rage’ on the Daily Politics show this morning, and wanted to defame his twin brother with a master plan.
Ken is yet to comment on the actions of his twin brother, as he is still hiding in a disabled toilet, and has plans to stay there indefinitely. The Labour Party has suspended Ken Livingstone, until he has resolved his family disputes. Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is rumoured to be looking around for birth certificates, to prove that approximately 10% of statements assumed to be made by Labour party members are actually made by evil twins.