Tinder Introduces ‘Super-Dislike’

Online dogging application Tinder has today introduced a ‘super-dislike’ feature similar to their ‘super-like’ option.

The super-dislike will allow people who unequivocally despise the person they encounter to hurl abuse at the person and express their unalterable hatred for their bio, life choices and of course, their face.

The super-dislike chat will feature it’s own special emojis and autocorrected phrases. Sentences such as, ‘Go fuck yourself you steaming pile of shit’ will replace ‘Hello’, and ‘I couldn’t give 2 fucks about your life choices. Literally, if you took all the stars in the universe, turned them into one big ball of destructive nuclear energy, rammed it up my arse and let the reaction destroy all of existence, that void of nothingness still doesn’t compare to how little I care about you’ will replace ‘So what do you study?’.

A spokesperson for Tinder spoke to Flipside about the addition. ‘We think this new feature will revolutionise the online dating world. Before, you had to leave you distaste for people anonymous and stick with what you like, but this will ensure that people only have to politely deal with people who actually want to have awkward sex with them’.

Social commentators have argued that the super-dislike will signal a return to more traditional marriages, where 2 people who cannot stand each other’s presence will get married and then hate each other for 40 years before feeling the sweet release of death. Some Tory MPs are quickly welcoming this return to loveless unions only held together by a desire to ensure their children are rich and obedient later in life.

The manosphere has also taken well to this new feature. Articles have emerged in the dark and decidedly suspicious smelling corners of the ‘manosphere’ suggesting a technique using the new super-dislike function to ‘gain’ hate-fucks from women. Feminists and sensible human beings have been quick to point out that this technique almost certainly won’t work, as these Men’s Rights Activists don’t seem to understand that women are attracted to being treated like people.

Flipside doesn’t know how to feel about Tinder’s new feature, but will inevitably try it out when bored and feeling the need to do something with our phones.

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