Leeds Flipside Goes Jonestown in Mass Exam-Stress Suicide

The Leeds Flipside team has engaged in a ritualistic mass suicide in response to the stress of university exams.

Flipside productivity dipped due to the unrelenting horrors of 2-3 hour memory tests, and not wanting to take it anymore, the writers got together and collectively took far too much ketamine so they could go out ‘off our tits’.

Regular contributer Sam Miller told a gathering of visibly emaciated and half-asleep Flipside writers, ‘I haven’t slept in days! All the Modafinil in my system isn’t making it easier to revise this shit, and how are we meant to get at least one Flipside article out a day with these exams? I say to hell with all of it, let’s just take this big bag of ket I’ve brought and end it all’. A barely audible collective groan of agreement followed as each writer instinctively dipped into the bag.

The lone writer who stayed behind to write this article reached out to the other contributors present, but most were unable to give comments as they quickly collapsed into blissful oblivion. Flipside writer Luke Bowley was asked for his thoughts on the mass suicide, but only managed to convulse wildly while shouting ‘Cameron fucked a pig’ repeatedly through his foaming mouth. Cartoonist Liam Kenrick attempted to draw one last comic for us, but only produced a series of illustrations of Donald Trump riding a very Caucasian dragon that fires assault rifles from its mouth instead of fire.

This writer has just taken his helping of ketamine, and is hoping to finish this post with some sense intact before he quickly loses sanity and collapses LEPRECHAUNS ARE EATING MY PANCREAS! CALL THE MILITIA QUICKLY! THEY’LL FIND MY STASH OF AVOCADOS! IDGBSOGFKBSGFJBOHTLNLGM<MNSUHDLCP(*”(*^$UOGJBLNMFM{COJM.

 

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