The real reason behind the suspension of local labour party meetings has come to light today, with opposition to Theresa May’s new government being suspended because “it would be a bloody shame to miss out on all the sunshine, only happens once a year.”
Jeremy Corbyn has released a statement saying “rumours of bitter infighting and a Labour party close to splitting are simply untrue – me and Angela were playing in the sandpit just now and it was ruddy good fun. I’m not saying that holding the Government to account isn’t important, but you don’t get weather like this everyday.”
The Conservative party are hoping the spell of good weather continues, as it really is much easier to fuck the poor when no one is looking. When Flipside caught up with Boris Johnson, he said “We don’t even want to play outside, our Tailcoats would be ruined if they get mud on them anyway, and I’m sure it’s not as good as it looks and mummy doesn’t like it when I play on the swings and I don’t even like ice cream so there,” wistfully gazing out of the Palace of Whitehall’s windows.