Bono Named ‘Woman of the Year’ and That’s Exactly Why we Haven’t Written an Article in Ages

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U2 frontman Bono has been named one of Glamour Magazine’s ‘Women of the Year’, and that’s exactly the sort of reason why we decided satire was obsolete and stopped updating this website.

Bono, a 56 year old man who is not a woman, was announced as a recipient of the title alongside female Black Lives Matter organisers and multi gold medal winning Olympic Gymnast Simone Biles, and to be honest, how are you even meant to satirise that? No wonder this website has fallen into disrepair and none of us can find the originality and creativity within us to deliver a humorous take on current events.

After a year which has seen the country vote Brexit despite the attempts of everyone running the Leave Campaign to not win that referendum and the rise of Donald Trump, the Bono news is yet another reminder to us of how obsolete we are in the current world. In fact the combination of ludicrous events and the fact the world appears to be being sucked into a depressing black hole where comedy can’t exist led the odds of us writing another article on this fucking pointless website being about as likely as a man winning Glamour Magazine’s Woman of the Year.

Again, just to clarify, read the sentence ‘Bono named Woman of the Year’ and try to find some humour in that that isn’t already inherently there. We were already fairly lazy students to begin with, and it was always likely we’d get bored with this website and move onto the latest youth crazes such as parkour or space hoppers, but what chance did we really have when we live in a world where Bono can be named Woman of the Year.

As a result of current new events, Leeds Flipside will now devote itself to sincerity. Satire as we know it is dead. Let us burn our effigies of Ian Hislop and give ourselves up to the dark void.

 

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